How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
