I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
