When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
