Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
50% drunk capacity currently
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I would ride that face into the sunset
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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