Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
