but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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