She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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