I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize