i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
