You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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