I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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