dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
