Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
nutella sex= disaster
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
