Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
be right there i have to get my cape
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
