Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
