I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
