Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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