party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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