I have demons in me.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Two words: blizzard sex
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
