Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
so much tequila, so little girl.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize