If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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