so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
