In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
