You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
