don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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