If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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