Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
