I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
