News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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