it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
