we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
