It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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