Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
All I want is dick and wine.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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