I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
