I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
