yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i dont even know how to be here
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
