At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
