It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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