is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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