It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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