Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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