it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
