just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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