The maid of honor just puked.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You're breaking my sexual little heart
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
