Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
