My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
