There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
