Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
