first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
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