I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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