and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Of course I have a pirate flag
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize