Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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