Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
