this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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