I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
