I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
