Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
