What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
