Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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