its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
