When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
