i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
