Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
